Journal of Love

To be honest, this is the hardest journal that I've ever written and ever will. Because when it comes to love there is no simple way to describe it, to define it, and the most important thing for some people, it's not that easy to feel.

Well , there are two types of love, vertical and horizontal. Vertical is between U and God. Horizontal is between U and people. Let me tell U a little secret about love. It's all about relationships. Believe it or not, your happiness depend on Your relationships. When Your relationships are just fine than U are a happy person. But when it is not then You're a miserable one.

The problem is some people lack of love while the others feel too much 'love'. And what is 'love' anyway U ask me?? 'Love' is the wrong concept about love. Let me put it into some stories to make it easier to understand.

John (not his real name) is a 36 years old guy, a successful business man with a lot of money. He can buy anything he wants. U name it, he buys it. Cars, house, even sex. But he is so unhappy. Because in the end no money in this world can buy love. He lacks the feel of love.

Second story, Mary, a 20 years old girl. Beautiful, smart, well known. She has a boyfriend who always give her anything she wants. If she wants a new pair of shoes, this boy will buy the shoes for her. If she wants new clothes, new jewelries, anything, her boyfriend will buy it for her. After college, she never worried, because she has a personal driver. At home she always get anything she wants from her parents. Her parents always fulfill everything she wants! Just like her boyfriend. Deep down inside her heart, she feels terribly unhappy. Because she feels too much 'love'! She can't have a 'NO' as an answer. She can't accept the feel of being rejected.

While Sarah is a 21 years old girl, who loves to pray. She attends mass on Sunday, she helps her community. But she never feels the love of God. She feels that what she has done is just a burden. It is because she feels guilty if she is not doing that. Well U can't feel the love of God with that. U can feel the love of God from the activities U do for God. The people U meet in Your community, only through that way U can feel it.

U see from the stories that healthy relationships can't be found. John builds a relationship with people for money, business. And he builds a relationship with girls just to have sex. Can he find any love in this kind of relationship? No. Mary builds her relationship with her boyfriend and her parents, so can she can get anything she wants. She thinks because she has a nice clothes, brand new shoes, nice cars, she will be happy. She will be loved. No.

When it comes to love, I tell U that it will consist of two things. First is feel. Second is act. Let me ask U a question what do u do when U FEEL sad?? What do U do when U FEEL mad?? What do U do when U feel happy?? To answer that U will answer with an ACT. U may said 'Well Martin if I'm sad , I'm just stand and doing nothing.' Well I said stand is an act. Or when U mad , U do nothing too. Well breathe is an act. U just don't realize it. So what do U do when U love someone??

So how do we build a good relationships? How do we feel love? Well my friends, I'll tell U what I know. Some people have a bad relationship with family, some others have a bad relationship with other people. While the others have a bad relationship with God. To fix it, fix your heart. Because U can only feel love through Your heart. U have a good heart , U have love. U have love , U will feel it.

In the end of this journal, I'll tell U something very important. Love and hurt is like a flip-flop. Like two sides on a coin. Sometimes when U love, U will get hurt. I won't lie to U. U love Your parents, but some parents are too busy, too selfish and U will get hurt because of that. And when U love someone, they don't love U back. It really hurts. I've been there. Sometimes the truth is ugly. Life doesn't go where we want it to be. But in this life, we always need love. U fail build a good relationships, U fail in life. Because at the end of the day that's what life is all about, relationships. Someday when U get older, like about 70 or 80, U will want to remember all the lovely things U have done in this world. U won't remember the pain. So love like U have never been hurt before.


-M-