Journal of Anger

People said life is simple .. u make a decision and never look back.. I agree.

Life is full of promises.. some will be done..some will be gone with the air. Believe me.. promise is good. But its better if u don't swallow it right down into your throat. People just saying happy things to make u happy , when it comes the time to deliver that promise, they will say 'Sorry I just can't...' . Their sorry have value , your sorry? None at all.

Love is even more complicated and painful. It's so easy to say 'I love u' when u are happy, when that adrenaline kicks ur brain the hell out of your head. It's so easy to say 'I miss u' when u are far away and ur adrenaline controls ur brain. It's easy to say 'I wanna hug u', 'I want to go to the mall with u', 'Kiss for u', 'Honey', when everything goes right. My question is where is the love when u need it the most? Gone. Where is the love when u made mistake? Gone. All there is left to say is 'We don't match each other anymore.' When things go wrong, they even don't want to hold your hands like you have some diseases.. like u are a garbage. They don't even want to touch u somehow. Lover is just like 2 people on a boat. When a waves hit the boat, the other one starts to blame u for ur mistake.. they don't want to hear ur explanation. They don't even care that u already hurt and tired. They just leave the boat whether u like it or not... and there u are.. all alone again... paddle ur way..with tears streaming down ur face..u hope that they will give a shit..but they don't. They are gone already.

Kindness.... this one is just...unspeakable sometimes. How many times have u done nice things in ur life? Many times. How many times it will cross people mind that u have done something nice in their life? Rarely..close to 0. All that sacrifice to show that we are kind enough , sometimes just gone. People won't even remember it. People tend to forget quick when it comes to kindness. When u did something bad.. people will always remember it. Stick to their heart. They all of a sudden can't forget about it. They don't even say 'thanks' when u are nice, but when u made mistake they don't wanna hear ur sorry. Things go mad. Hell broken lose. All of good things u have done gone.. they won't even remember it. They even don't want to look at it. They only see ur negativity somehow.

Anger.... I'm angry by the time I wrote this. Yes I am. I'm in incredible pain by the time I wrote this. Yes I am. They said I'm childish..they said I'm not gentle.. I said ask urself first..Have u put some respect for me? I'm mad. Yes I am. I'm just human with this kind of emotion. Anger is one of the emotion I have. U stomp on my pride. U disrespect me. U already made decision but act as if there is still hope. Don't give me hope when there is none. Don't give me promises u can't deliver. Don't say u love me when u can't love in the end.

People said life is simple.. u make a decision and never look back. I made mine. My decision is not to look back.

-M-